Koalas, Acne Cream, Married Life

I was just over at the website of the Teen Choice Awards. I wanted to see how the Glee crew were doing. The TCAs are scheduled for later in August, so there was no news yet.

There were a number of links to video clips at the bottom of the page. One appeared to be for Katy Perry. I clicked it. It led to a telly ad by Perry for an acne cream.

Perry tells the viewers she's been trying this acne cream for a while and she's seen 'noticeable change'.

Bullshit. Katy Perry's probably not had a spot for years, if then. But the preteens who see this probably suck it up and tell their parents they have to buy this product 'because Katy Perry says so'.

Hypocrisy.

Australian MP and cabinet minister - and former frontman for Midnight Oil - Peter Garrett is currently listed on a 'wall of shame' for not being supportive of the plight of the koala. The koala is endangered because it needs eucalyptus to eat and because Shanghai billionaires have been trying to buy up the lands that form the koala's natural habitat to turn into lucrative real estate investments.

Garrett tell the Australian people that he will look into the matter.

Bullshit. The koala movement tried to contact Garrett twenty years ago when he worked for the Australian Conservation Foundation in Australia. The woman running the movement back then tried to contact Garrett to enlist his help. She couldn't get through to him. She tried to set up an appointment with the celebrity to talk about the issue and enlist his support. She was told each time she rang his office that he didn't have the time.

Finally she traveled down to Sydney and visited his office. She sat in the waiting room for days. She saw Garrett come and go and kept asking for time to see him. She was told each time by his receptionist that he didn't have time.

This story hit the media in Australia twenty years ago.

I tried myself to get hold of Garrett. I first contacted his artist agent and was given a number to his office for the ACF in Sydney. There I talked with Garrett's press secretary.

I mentioned the story of the koala and the koala movement and the secretary laughed. 'Oh THAT woman', he said. 'She's politically naive.' And that was it. This poor woman, working without pay for this movement to save the koala, was summarily dismissed as 'naive' - and treated like chopped liver. All attempts to speak with the famous Garrett were sidestepped. She even sat in his office and still was not given five minutes with him.

Midnight Oil disbanded officially in 2002 as Garrett now wanted to go into politics, joining Labor and floating upwards rapidly on his notoriety. He's considered by many to be a sell-out as his actions as MP and cabinet minister go directly against the views he expressed as frontman for the rock group.

Hypocrisy.

Sweden's Magnus Uggla made a big stink some months ago when he severed his agreement with Spotify. He wasn't mad at Spotify - he was mad at his 'friend' at CBS Sweden. Uggla's never been in a recording contract with CBS - he's always had a 'distribution contract'. He's managed to keep most of the revenues for himself (and pay his musicians, both in the studio and on the road, not much more than dirt). The old joke was that the musicians in the tour bus read comic books and Uggla reviewed his stock portfolios.

CBS and the other major record labels own a controlling interest in Spotify. There's no way Spotify would have been given access to those extensive recording catalogues for less. Each of them paid a nominal sum of a few thousand US dollars for huge chunks of stock. The recording companies determine how much royalties will be paid to artists found on Spotify - the Spotify people themselves have nothing to say about it.

Uggla's always been a mysterious person with a well-guarded private life. Few of his fans knew, for example, that he led a quiet and tidy married life with three children in the suburbs of Stockholm. Few suspected such a thing.

One of Uggla's big show peaks at each concert was his diatribe against marriage. He'd start by asking the audience if they've ever been out on the town, met someone, got drunk, then woken up the following morning in a strange house and a strange bed.

I lift the bed sheet slowly and see if anything sticks, he tells the audience. Then I know if that girl there and I have done it. The audience go hysterical with laughter.

Then she invites me to her parents' house for dinner on Sunday, he continues. We're going to sit around a nice table and eat slottstek med gurka and we'll have the expected chitchat. But not for me - never! I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED!

And the audience go bonkers, cheering him loudly. They love Uggla for this. And most of his audience believe him - and purchased every record he released.

Then one day I run into him in Stockholm. He's hysterical with laughter. He's got a letter in his hand - a letter sent from one of his fans.

Dear Magnus, the letter begins, I can't believe what I am reading in the papers. You've gone and got married? But you promised you never would! You told us you didn't want to and would never get married! How could you do this to us! My whole bedroom - even the ceiling - is covered in posters of you! I have every record you've ever released! I BELIEVED IN YOU! How could you do such a thing?

Isn't that hysterical? Uggla asks. Of course he'd been married and shacked up with three children for some time - all that happened was it finally hit the newspapers.

Why is it hysterical? I ask him. The person who wrote that letter is your fan - he believed in you. HE ASSUMED YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH. You've shattered his dreams. How can that be hysterical?

Ah but he's just a STUPID FAN, says Uggla.

Stupid fan? Uggla goes on stage at every concert throughout his career and makes a big deal about being against marriage. It's part of his 'image'. It helps him SELL RECORDS.

But it's all bullshit. It's Katy Perry's acne cream and MP the HONOURABLE Peter Garrett's opposition to nuclear power and rabid support for the environment. It's a WAY TO MAKE MONEY.