Job didn't know shit.
Got up to make my medicine this morning. We're out of sugar. I need three huge tablespoons of sugar for my medicine. My stomach is screaming. I need the medicine NOW!
The problem is the medicine is meant to be mixed with sugar because the smell and taste can otherwise cause vomiting.
We're out of sugar. I look across to my lovely awake cohabitant and point out to her that we're out of sugar.
'Yes I know.'
'But we've never been out of sugar before. Not in ten years.'
'Yes I know.'
'You just went shopping yesterday.'
'Yes I know.'
'Didn't you have enough money to buy sugar?'
'Oh of course.'
'Then why didn't you buy any? You always have a backup as well. Now none.'
'They didn't have my favourite brand.'
They didn't have her favourite brand?
Yes, her favourite brand costs about 40p less than the other brand. So to save 40p she decided to completely deprive the household of sugar.
Sugar isn't only used in medicine. It's used in cooking, it's used in hot drinks. And cohabitant must have been waiting for her 'favourite' brand for some time - she let us run out over a period of weeks, not a single shopping day.
All because she can't find her favourite brand anymore.
The medicine will have to wait. The pain has become excruciating. I am thinking of divorce.
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Compromise and Peter Garrett
Peter Garrett MP. Alternatively seen as an idol and a sellout. Vitriol is flowing freely as people are still eager to approach the person.
Peter Garrett was once frontman for Midnight Oil. No look at Garrett is complete without first looking at Midnight Oil.
Midnight Oil are the first, last, and only no-compromise rock group in the history of rock. It's hard to appreciate how deeply this goes without looking at their history.
Midnight Oil started in the surfer clubs in NSW outside Sydney. Clubs Garrett described as being as far from what one would find in LA as imaginable. More like what the Beatles saw in Hamburg but even more so. Biker types who would, in the words of Garrett, break the bottom off a beer bottle and shove it in your face if they didn't like the entertainment.
Midnight Oil were always about entertainment. Not laser shows and smoke bombs. Those things only make bikers pissed as hell. You had to make music - mach shau as the Beatles were told. And even if your average biker doesn't know that much about music theory or technique, he intuitively grasps when something is good and when something is really good and when something is truly exceptional.
Midnight Oil at those surfer clubs played roller coaster music. It took off, grabbed you, never let go, didn't let you catch your breath.
Midnight Oil searched for a recording contract but they had their stipulations. They were no-compromise before they even had a contract. They insisted on full artistic control and they wanted distribution, not a recording contract. There were no buyers.
So they financed their first album on their own Powderworks label. They were later to get distribution by CBS Australia but they never sold out.
Their title song on the Powderworks album starts with the ominous lyric 'there's a shit storm coming'. The song is 5:34 long. At 2:38 the instrumental roller coaster starts - and continues for several minutes on the twin guitars of Martin Rotsey and Jim Moginie with hectic bass work by Bear James and finally segues back into vocals at 4:28. Way more than half the song is instrumental. There are so many twists and turns in there it's not funny.
It's not just that the songs wear you out emotionally and intellectually - they're so technically demanding. No challenge without entertainment of course. The next song on that album is called Head Over Heels. Listen carefully. It's got hot plectrum work that not only is demanding and needs a lot of practice but is HARD WORK. And it's done in unison between one guitar and the bass. This is a song most groups would never even attempt to play - it's just too hard! But Midnight Oil did it.
Their time signature changes. Listen to the opening of Dust. It's a 3/4 song actually. But it's actually more like a 6/8. Yet the intro is definitely 3/4. And listen what happens in the second verse! This is not easy music making.
The arrangements - meticulously laid up. Best since Paul McCartney's work with the Beatles. Add on gradually. Keep the concept of song format in mind. And so forth.
This is brilliant music all around. The compositions are anything but trivial. The practice that went into mastering each of these tracks. The overriding rule that technique and virtuosity have to lead to something - to audience happiness.
The raucous Used And Abused - a rebel rock song. Again - hold on tight because it goes all over the place. Don't think so? Just wait until the second time around (it takes off at 1:24). And listen to the fast-picking unison work between guitar and bass. 3:11 but a very long 3:11.
Surfing With A Spoon. Have any idea what's going on there? For the first: one of the guitars is (some of the time) strapped with a capo at a very high fret - perhaps the 8th or even 10th. But it doesn't stop there. You have the usual mix of syncopation and attack drums but you also get a flurry of harmonics built around a organ grinder type of interlude which gives the guitarist with the capo enough time to switch instruments and sounds. And then he launches into a heavy solo which is taken over by his counterpart again so he can get the original guitar back in place for the finish.
Playing those harmonics as Midnight Oil do isn't easy. Neither is it easy to turn the solo and the whole song into a show-stopping experience. This is no-compromise music.
Nobody wanted to write about Midnight Oil. They were the bad boys of rock. They didn't do stupid interviews, answer questions like 'what's your favourite colour' and 'do you sleep in the nude' and they weren't very appreciative of the media or the ABS either. And you all remember who controlled the media in Australia back then? Your good old friend Rupert. And his since imprisoned friend Alan. They had a great tactic Rupert uses to this day: you don't attack someone you don't like in an editorial - you just don't write about them at all.
Murdoch used this famously to swing elections all over the place. And Midnight Oil, that no-compromise group, retaliated with a song years later called Read About It - or as Garrett called it, The Rupert Murdoch Alligator Express. People in Australia didn't know shit if Rupert's newspapers didn't write about it.
Midnight Oil's album Powderworks got no play in the media, no airplay, and yet was a big success. What did Midnight Oil do? They invested their profits right away.
Things on the surfer circuit weren't that good for anyone save the venue owners. Midnight Oil set about changing all that with the profits from their first album. They started a booking agency and got most groups on the coast to sign with them. At which point they exerted a virtual monopoly. And what to do with this monopoly? Change the way the system worked.
They wanted lower prices for their fans and they wanted more pleasant behaviour from venue owners and their bouncers. And so forth. They got it because no one got a major act unless they went through Midnight Oil. And those were the conditions imposed by Midnight Oil. A lot of ordinary people loved Midnight Oil for this but the people with money did not. Amongst those people, they became more hated than ever.
Herb Alpert heard of this fantastic group and sent two pinstripes to Sydney to talk to them. Midnight Oil were at the Melbourne Cricket Grounds at the time. The A&M dudes went up to 2JJJ as they were told, got told Midnight Oil were in Vic, drove out to the MCG, asked around for free tickets, were told there were none, paid their way in, met Midnight Oil the following Monday.
The A&M dudes asked about the free tickets. Midnight Oil had known they were coming - couldn't they have left some free tickes?
Midnight Oil, not intimidated by the sugar daddies from California, told the pinstripes there was no mistake, there were no free tickets. Free tickets are only for their friends. Sorry.
Alpert thought he had the senstation group of the 1980s. But he wanted them to play his covers and he wanted less esoteric lyrics in what they themselves wrote.
Midnight Oil showed Alpert's people to the door. Here they were being offered a multimillion dollar contract with the express promise of being the BIGGEST THING OF THE 1980s - and they turned it down.
We've worked too hard and too long to sell out, said Midnight Oil. But they'd already had a second album out in Australia - Head Injuries - that went gold on word of mouth alone and is cited in books on rock history as the only real example of a recording that succeeds despite there being no publicity whatsoever. Think about that: the second Midnight Oil album Head Injuries went GOLD with NO PUBLICITY WHATSOEVER. Rock historians think this is a big thing because everyone would like to believe art succeeds on its own merits. Lots of theory there - but only one example in practice. Head Injuries. Midnight Oil.
Things still didn't turn around for Midnight Oil until their next album and more importantly England's entry into the European Union. That move by the UK meant Australia lost favourite nation status and suddenly exports to the British Isles evaporated and unemployment became rampant in the Lucky Country.
What did those bad boys Midnight Oil do? They organised a pan-Pacific telecast to fill the coffers of the unions - with themselves headlining of course. This concert was transmitted on radio and television all the way up the Pacific Rim and brought in millions to help the unemployed. Now bad boys Midnight Oil were suddenly the heroes of the nation.
As late as 1990 Midnight Oil drummer was still cursing CBS for exploiting the Australian bicentennial to push Beds Are Burning. Yes, he said he was pissed at the way they did that. Everything Midnight Oil did - whether pure sentiment or sham - was 'no-compromise'.
They hijacked Exxon after the oil scandal, pulled up in front of Exxon HQ in NYC with a flatbed truck and played a concert in protest at the Valdez, then held a press conference with Greenpeace about it - with Peter Garrett asking very pointed questions of Exxon for their lax technology.
Some of the songs Midnight Oil have recorded over the years (with very specific targets).
Don't Wanna Be The One (Herb Alpert); River Runs Red (Exxon); Dead Heart (lands rights); US Forces (guess); Power and the Passion (middle class lifestyle); Beds Are Burning (Lands Rights); Blue Sky Mine (uranium mining, workers rights); Forgotten Years (war heroes); One Country (Australia); In The Valley (ancestors and descendants); Sometimes (the 'man'); Read About It (Rupert Murdoch); Dreamworld (real estate exploitation); Only The Strong (parental child abuse); Sell My Soul (plight of migrant workers); Progress (what it sounds like); Hercules (Rainbow Warrior); Blossom and Blood (Hiroshima); Pictures (wood chip companies); Armistice Day (anti-war); Short Memory (anti-war); Warakurna (aboriginal rights); My Country (false patriotism); Feeding Frenzy (middle class mania); Truganini (aboriginal rights); Redneck Wonderland (reactionary Australian governments); Too Much Sunshine (destroying the environment).
Midnight Oil were the musical arrangers of the 2000 Olympics in Sydney. Things were tense in Australia. Their 'Redneck Wonderland' PM refused to apologise to the aboriginals for further revealed transgressions. Midnight Oil were to headline the closing ceremony. They ambushed the PM (and the entire nation) by appearing on stage in black jumpsuits with the word 'SORRY' printed all across the sides and back. If the Australian government wouldn't apologise, Midnight Oil would.
That's Midnight Oil. That's why they're a legend. It's not only the no-compromise music - never any frills, light shows, laser beams, smoke bombs. Only music. And as far as their principles went: same thing. They started in 1978, ended in 2002, and were as true to their own ideas and ideals in 2002 as in 1978.
*
Now compare this with the political career of Peter Garrett. It's not germane if Peter Garrett has a point that he has to compromise. Blah blah. The point is he does compromise - something no one in Midnight Oil would have dared to do or dream about for 25 years. Compromise was anathema to them - their archenemy. Compromise was simply not in their character - not for a one of them. None of them would have considered it. Perish the thought.
Garrett made a show for the Nuclear Disarmament Party in 1984 (and of course wrote a book about it - Political Blues). No one expected him to win. The NDP wanted his candidacy to get more votes so they could get government subsidies. He got them those votes. He pulled so many hilarious stunts across the country and the media flocked to him. And he'd have won the seat in Canberra if Labor hadn't ganged up on him.
There was no compromise about Garrett back then. Most Australian were hoping he'd unite the green parties. He could have done it. No one is sure why he didn't.
It's often said Garrett has enough money and doesn't need to work. Perhaps he does have enough money but he's certainly not rolling in it - you can't quite do that when you sell only 12 million records in 25 years and you have to split the money half a dozen ways. Not even with the considerable concert revenues you pull in.
But Garrett could have been very influential outside mainstream politics - certainly had a more profound influence than today when people rarely hear him say anything of his own, hear mostly of his failures and demotions, and when Australia totally lacks the type of articulate voices that used to abound. Garrett says he has to compromise but the people of Australia see him only as a Labor lapdog.
Midnight Oil never compromised. Never. Peter Garrett knows nothing but. Maybe Garrett can sell an excuse to some people but he's still a sellout to himself and the group he fronted for 25 years - things good people took very seriously.
Peter Garrett was once frontman for Midnight Oil. No look at Garrett is complete without first looking at Midnight Oil.
Midnight Oil are the first, last, and only no-compromise rock group in the history of rock. It's hard to appreciate how deeply this goes without looking at their history.
Midnight Oil started in the surfer clubs in NSW outside Sydney. Clubs Garrett described as being as far from what one would find in LA as imaginable. More like what the Beatles saw in Hamburg but even more so. Biker types who would, in the words of Garrett, break the bottom off a beer bottle and shove it in your face if they didn't like the entertainment.
Midnight Oil were always about entertainment. Not laser shows and smoke bombs. Those things only make bikers pissed as hell. You had to make music - mach shau as the Beatles were told. And even if your average biker doesn't know that much about music theory or technique, he intuitively grasps when something is good and when something is really good and when something is truly exceptional.
Midnight Oil at those surfer clubs played roller coaster music. It took off, grabbed you, never let go, didn't let you catch your breath.
Midnight Oil searched for a recording contract but they had their stipulations. They were no-compromise before they even had a contract. They insisted on full artistic control and they wanted distribution, not a recording contract. There were no buyers.
So they financed their first album on their own Powderworks label. They were later to get distribution by CBS Australia but they never sold out.
Their title song on the Powderworks album starts with the ominous lyric 'there's a shit storm coming'. The song is 5:34 long. At 2:38 the instrumental roller coaster starts - and continues for several minutes on the twin guitars of Martin Rotsey and Jim Moginie with hectic bass work by Bear James and finally segues back into vocals at 4:28. Way more than half the song is instrumental. There are so many twists and turns in there it's not funny.
It's not just that the songs wear you out emotionally and intellectually - they're so technically demanding. No challenge without entertainment of course. The next song on that album is called Head Over Heels. Listen carefully. It's got hot plectrum work that not only is demanding and needs a lot of practice but is HARD WORK. And it's done in unison between one guitar and the bass. This is a song most groups would never even attempt to play - it's just too hard! But Midnight Oil did it.
Their time signature changes. Listen to the opening of Dust. It's a 3/4 song actually. But it's actually more like a 6/8. Yet the intro is definitely 3/4. And listen what happens in the second verse! This is not easy music making.
The arrangements - meticulously laid up. Best since Paul McCartney's work with the Beatles. Add on gradually. Keep the concept of song format in mind. And so forth.
This is brilliant music all around. The compositions are anything but trivial. The practice that went into mastering each of these tracks. The overriding rule that technique and virtuosity have to lead to something - to audience happiness.
The raucous Used And Abused - a rebel rock song. Again - hold on tight because it goes all over the place. Don't think so? Just wait until the second time around (it takes off at 1:24). And listen to the fast-picking unison work between guitar and bass. 3:11 but a very long 3:11.
Surfing With A Spoon. Have any idea what's going on there? For the first: one of the guitars is (some of the time) strapped with a capo at a very high fret - perhaps the 8th or even 10th. But it doesn't stop there. You have the usual mix of syncopation and attack drums but you also get a flurry of harmonics built around a organ grinder type of interlude which gives the guitarist with the capo enough time to switch instruments and sounds. And then he launches into a heavy solo which is taken over by his counterpart again so he can get the original guitar back in place for the finish.
Playing those harmonics as Midnight Oil do isn't easy. Neither is it easy to turn the solo and the whole song into a show-stopping experience. This is no-compromise music.
Nobody wanted to write about Midnight Oil. They were the bad boys of rock. They didn't do stupid interviews, answer questions like 'what's your favourite colour' and 'do you sleep in the nude' and they weren't very appreciative of the media or the ABS either. And you all remember who controlled the media in Australia back then? Your good old friend Rupert. And his since imprisoned friend Alan. They had a great tactic Rupert uses to this day: you don't attack someone you don't like in an editorial - you just don't write about them at all.
Murdoch used this famously to swing elections all over the place. And Midnight Oil, that no-compromise group, retaliated with a song years later called Read About It - or as Garrett called it, The Rupert Murdoch Alligator Express. People in Australia didn't know shit if Rupert's newspapers didn't write about it.
Midnight Oil's album Powderworks got no play in the media, no airplay, and yet was a big success. What did Midnight Oil do? They invested their profits right away.
Things on the surfer circuit weren't that good for anyone save the venue owners. Midnight Oil set about changing all that with the profits from their first album. They started a booking agency and got most groups on the coast to sign with them. At which point they exerted a virtual monopoly. And what to do with this monopoly? Change the way the system worked.
They wanted lower prices for their fans and they wanted more pleasant behaviour from venue owners and their bouncers. And so forth. They got it because no one got a major act unless they went through Midnight Oil. And those were the conditions imposed by Midnight Oil. A lot of ordinary people loved Midnight Oil for this but the people with money did not. Amongst those people, they became more hated than ever.
Herb Alpert heard of this fantastic group and sent two pinstripes to Sydney to talk to them. Midnight Oil were at the Melbourne Cricket Grounds at the time. The A&M dudes went up to 2JJJ as they were told, got told Midnight Oil were in Vic, drove out to the MCG, asked around for free tickets, were told there were none, paid their way in, met Midnight Oil the following Monday.
The A&M dudes asked about the free tickets. Midnight Oil had known they were coming - couldn't they have left some free tickes?
Midnight Oil, not intimidated by the sugar daddies from California, told the pinstripes there was no mistake, there were no free tickets. Free tickets are only for their friends. Sorry.
Alpert thought he had the senstation group of the 1980s. But he wanted them to play his covers and he wanted less esoteric lyrics in what they themselves wrote.
Midnight Oil showed Alpert's people to the door. Here they were being offered a multimillion dollar contract with the express promise of being the BIGGEST THING OF THE 1980s - and they turned it down.
We've worked too hard and too long to sell out, said Midnight Oil. But they'd already had a second album out in Australia - Head Injuries - that went gold on word of mouth alone and is cited in books on rock history as the only real example of a recording that succeeds despite there being no publicity whatsoever. Think about that: the second Midnight Oil album Head Injuries went GOLD with NO PUBLICITY WHATSOEVER. Rock historians think this is a big thing because everyone would like to believe art succeeds on its own merits. Lots of theory there - but only one example in practice. Head Injuries. Midnight Oil.
Things still didn't turn around for Midnight Oil until their next album and more importantly England's entry into the European Union. That move by the UK meant Australia lost favourite nation status and suddenly exports to the British Isles evaporated and unemployment became rampant in the Lucky Country.
What did those bad boys Midnight Oil do? They organised a pan-Pacific telecast to fill the coffers of the unions - with themselves headlining of course. This concert was transmitted on radio and television all the way up the Pacific Rim and brought in millions to help the unemployed. Now bad boys Midnight Oil were suddenly the heroes of the nation.
As late as 1990 Midnight Oil drummer was still cursing CBS for exploiting the Australian bicentennial to push Beds Are Burning. Yes, he said he was pissed at the way they did that. Everything Midnight Oil did - whether pure sentiment or sham - was 'no-compromise'.
They hijacked Exxon after the oil scandal, pulled up in front of Exxon HQ in NYC with a flatbed truck and played a concert in protest at the Valdez, then held a press conference with Greenpeace about it - with Peter Garrett asking very pointed questions of Exxon for their lax technology.
Some of the songs Midnight Oil have recorded over the years (with very specific targets).
Don't Wanna Be The One (Herb Alpert); River Runs Red (Exxon); Dead Heart (lands rights); US Forces (guess); Power and the Passion (middle class lifestyle); Beds Are Burning (Lands Rights); Blue Sky Mine (uranium mining, workers rights); Forgotten Years (war heroes); One Country (Australia); In The Valley (ancestors and descendants); Sometimes (the 'man'); Read About It (Rupert Murdoch); Dreamworld (real estate exploitation); Only The Strong (parental child abuse); Sell My Soul (plight of migrant workers); Progress (what it sounds like); Hercules (Rainbow Warrior); Blossom and Blood (Hiroshima); Pictures (wood chip companies); Armistice Day (anti-war); Short Memory (anti-war); Warakurna (aboriginal rights); My Country (false patriotism); Feeding Frenzy (middle class mania); Truganini (aboriginal rights); Redneck Wonderland (reactionary Australian governments); Too Much Sunshine (destroying the environment).
Midnight Oil were the musical arrangers of the 2000 Olympics in Sydney. Things were tense in Australia. Their 'Redneck Wonderland' PM refused to apologise to the aboriginals for further revealed transgressions. Midnight Oil were to headline the closing ceremony. They ambushed the PM (and the entire nation) by appearing on stage in black jumpsuits with the word 'SORRY' printed all across the sides and back. If the Australian government wouldn't apologise, Midnight Oil would.
That's Midnight Oil. That's why they're a legend. It's not only the no-compromise music - never any frills, light shows, laser beams, smoke bombs. Only music. And as far as their principles went: same thing. They started in 1978, ended in 2002, and were as true to their own ideas and ideals in 2002 as in 1978.
*
Now compare this with the political career of Peter Garrett. It's not germane if Peter Garrett has a point that he has to compromise. Blah blah. The point is he does compromise - something no one in Midnight Oil would have dared to do or dream about for 25 years. Compromise was anathema to them - their archenemy. Compromise was simply not in their character - not for a one of them. None of them would have considered it. Perish the thought.
Garrett made a show for the Nuclear Disarmament Party in 1984 (and of course wrote a book about it - Political Blues). No one expected him to win. The NDP wanted his candidacy to get more votes so they could get government subsidies. He got them those votes. He pulled so many hilarious stunts across the country and the media flocked to him. And he'd have won the seat in Canberra if Labor hadn't ganged up on him.
There was no compromise about Garrett back then. Most Australian were hoping he'd unite the green parties. He could have done it. No one is sure why he didn't.
It's often said Garrett has enough money and doesn't need to work. Perhaps he does have enough money but he's certainly not rolling in it - you can't quite do that when you sell only 12 million records in 25 years and you have to split the money half a dozen ways. Not even with the considerable concert revenues you pull in.
But Garrett could have been very influential outside mainstream politics - certainly had a more profound influence than today when people rarely hear him say anything of his own, hear mostly of his failures and demotions, and when Australia totally lacks the type of articulate voices that used to abound. Garrett says he has to compromise but the people of Australia see him only as a Labor lapdog.
Midnight Oil never compromised. Never. Peter Garrett knows nothing but. Maybe Garrett can sell an excuse to some people but he's still a sellout to himself and the group he fronted for 25 years - things good people took very seriously.
Monday, 2 August 2010
Koalas, Acne Cream, Married Life
I was just over at the website of the Teen Choice Awards. I wanted to see how the Glee crew were doing. The TCAs are scheduled for later in August, so there was no news yet.
There were a number of links to video clips at the bottom of the page. One appeared to be for Katy Perry. I clicked it. It led to a telly ad by Perry for an acne cream.
Perry tells the viewers she's been trying this acne cream for a while and she's seen 'noticeable change'.
Bullshit. Katy Perry's probably not had a spot for years, if then. But the preteens who see this probably suck it up and tell their parents they have to buy this product 'because Katy Perry says so'.
Hypocrisy.
Australian MP and cabinet minister - and former frontman for Midnight Oil - Peter Garrett is currently listed on a 'wall of shame' for not being supportive of the plight of the koala. The koala is endangered because it needs eucalyptus to eat and because Shanghai billionaires have been trying to buy up the lands that form the koala's natural habitat to turn into lucrative real estate investments.
Garrett tell the Australian people that he will look into the matter.
Bullshit. The koala movement tried to contact Garrett twenty years ago when he worked for the Australian Conservation Foundation in Australia. The woman running the movement back then tried to contact Garrett to enlist his help. She couldn't get through to him. She tried to set up an appointment with the celebrity to talk about the issue and enlist his support. She was told each time she rang his office that he didn't have the time.
Finally she traveled down to Sydney and visited his office. She sat in the waiting room for days. She saw Garrett come and go and kept asking for time to see him. She was told each time by his receptionist that he didn't have time.
This story hit the media in Australia twenty years ago.
I tried myself to get hold of Garrett. I first contacted his artist agent and was given a number to his office for the ACF in Sydney. There I talked with Garrett's press secretary.
I mentioned the story of the koala and the koala movement and the secretary laughed. 'Oh THAT woman', he said. 'She's politically naive.' And that was it. This poor woman, working without pay for this movement to save the koala, was summarily dismissed as 'naive' - and treated like chopped liver. All attempts to speak with the famous Garrett were sidestepped. She even sat in his office and still was not given five minutes with him.
Midnight Oil disbanded officially in 2002 as Garrett now wanted to go into politics, joining Labor and floating upwards rapidly on his notoriety. He's considered by many to be a sell-out as his actions as MP and cabinet minister go directly against the views he expressed as frontman for the rock group.
Hypocrisy.
Sweden's Magnus Uggla made a big stink some months ago when he severed his agreement with Spotify. He wasn't mad at Spotify - he was mad at his 'friend' at CBS Sweden. Uggla's never been in a recording contract with CBS - he's always had a 'distribution contract'. He's managed to keep most of the revenues for himself (and pay his musicians, both in the studio and on the road, not much more than dirt). The old joke was that the musicians in the tour bus read comic books and Uggla reviewed his stock portfolios.
CBS and the other major record labels own a controlling interest in Spotify. There's no way Spotify would have been given access to those extensive recording catalogues for less. Each of them paid a nominal sum of a few thousand US dollars for huge chunks of stock. The recording companies determine how much royalties will be paid to artists found on Spotify - the Spotify people themselves have nothing to say about it.
Uggla's always been a mysterious person with a well-guarded private life. Few of his fans knew, for example, that he led a quiet and tidy married life with three children in the suburbs of Stockholm. Few suspected such a thing.
One of Uggla's big show peaks at each concert was his diatribe against marriage. He'd start by asking the audience if they've ever been out on the town, met someone, got drunk, then woken up the following morning in a strange house and a strange bed.
I lift the bed sheet slowly and see if anything sticks, he tells the audience. Then I know if that girl there and I have done it. The audience go hysterical with laughter.
Then she invites me to her parents' house for dinner on Sunday, he continues. We're going to sit around a nice table and eat slottstek med gurka and we'll have the expected chitchat. But not for me - never! I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED!
And the audience go bonkers, cheering him loudly. They love Uggla for this. And most of his audience believe him - and purchased every record he released.
Then one day I run into him in Stockholm. He's hysterical with laughter. He's got a letter in his hand - a letter sent from one of his fans.
Dear Magnus, the letter begins, I can't believe what I am reading in the papers. You've gone and got married? But you promised you never would! You told us you didn't want to and would never get married! How could you do this to us! My whole bedroom - even the ceiling - is covered in posters of you! I have every record you've ever released! I BELIEVED IN YOU! How could you do such a thing?
Isn't that hysterical? Uggla asks. Of course he'd been married and shacked up with three children for some time - all that happened was it finally hit the newspapers.
Why is it hysterical? I ask him. The person who wrote that letter is your fan - he believed in you. HE ASSUMED YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH. You've shattered his dreams. How can that be hysterical?
Ah but he's just a STUPID FAN, says Uggla.
Stupid fan? Uggla goes on stage at every concert throughout his career and makes a big deal about being against marriage. It's part of his 'image'. It helps him SELL RECORDS.
But it's all bullshit. It's Katy Perry's acne cream and MP the HONOURABLE Peter Garrett's opposition to nuclear power and rabid support for the environment. It's a WAY TO MAKE MONEY.
There were a number of links to video clips at the bottom of the page. One appeared to be for Katy Perry. I clicked it. It led to a telly ad by Perry for an acne cream.
Perry tells the viewers she's been trying this acne cream for a while and she's seen 'noticeable change'.
Bullshit. Katy Perry's probably not had a spot for years, if then. But the preteens who see this probably suck it up and tell their parents they have to buy this product 'because Katy Perry says so'.
Hypocrisy.
Australian MP and cabinet minister - and former frontman for Midnight Oil - Peter Garrett is currently listed on a 'wall of shame' for not being supportive of the plight of the koala. The koala is endangered because it needs eucalyptus to eat and because Shanghai billionaires have been trying to buy up the lands that form the koala's natural habitat to turn into lucrative real estate investments.
Garrett tell the Australian people that he will look into the matter.
Bullshit. The koala movement tried to contact Garrett twenty years ago when he worked for the Australian Conservation Foundation in Australia. The woman running the movement back then tried to contact Garrett to enlist his help. She couldn't get through to him. She tried to set up an appointment with the celebrity to talk about the issue and enlist his support. She was told each time she rang his office that he didn't have the time.
Finally she traveled down to Sydney and visited his office. She sat in the waiting room for days. She saw Garrett come and go and kept asking for time to see him. She was told each time by his receptionist that he didn't have time.
This story hit the media in Australia twenty years ago.
I tried myself to get hold of Garrett. I first contacted his artist agent and was given a number to his office for the ACF in Sydney. There I talked with Garrett's press secretary.
I mentioned the story of the koala and the koala movement and the secretary laughed. 'Oh THAT woman', he said. 'She's politically naive.' And that was it. This poor woman, working without pay for this movement to save the koala, was summarily dismissed as 'naive' - and treated like chopped liver. All attempts to speak with the famous Garrett were sidestepped. She even sat in his office and still was not given five minutes with him.
Midnight Oil disbanded officially in 2002 as Garrett now wanted to go into politics, joining Labor and floating upwards rapidly on his notoriety. He's considered by many to be a sell-out as his actions as MP and cabinet minister go directly against the views he expressed as frontman for the rock group.
Hypocrisy.
Sweden's Magnus Uggla made a big stink some months ago when he severed his agreement with Spotify. He wasn't mad at Spotify - he was mad at his 'friend' at CBS Sweden. Uggla's never been in a recording contract with CBS - he's always had a 'distribution contract'. He's managed to keep most of the revenues for himself (and pay his musicians, both in the studio and on the road, not much more than dirt). The old joke was that the musicians in the tour bus read comic books and Uggla reviewed his stock portfolios.
CBS and the other major record labels own a controlling interest in Spotify. There's no way Spotify would have been given access to those extensive recording catalogues for less. Each of them paid a nominal sum of a few thousand US dollars for huge chunks of stock. The recording companies determine how much royalties will be paid to artists found on Spotify - the Spotify people themselves have nothing to say about it.
Uggla's always been a mysterious person with a well-guarded private life. Few of his fans knew, for example, that he led a quiet and tidy married life with three children in the suburbs of Stockholm. Few suspected such a thing.
One of Uggla's big show peaks at each concert was his diatribe against marriage. He'd start by asking the audience if they've ever been out on the town, met someone, got drunk, then woken up the following morning in a strange house and a strange bed.
I lift the bed sheet slowly and see if anything sticks, he tells the audience. Then I know if that girl there and I have done it. The audience go hysterical with laughter.
Then she invites me to her parents' house for dinner on Sunday, he continues. We're going to sit around a nice table and eat slottstek med gurka and we'll have the expected chitchat. But not for me - never! I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED!
And the audience go bonkers, cheering him loudly. They love Uggla for this. And most of his audience believe him - and purchased every record he released.
Then one day I run into him in Stockholm. He's hysterical with laughter. He's got a letter in his hand - a letter sent from one of his fans.
Dear Magnus, the letter begins, I can't believe what I am reading in the papers. You've gone and got married? But you promised you never would! You told us you didn't want to and would never get married! How could you do this to us! My whole bedroom - even the ceiling - is covered in posters of you! I have every record you've ever released! I BELIEVED IN YOU! How could you do such a thing?
Isn't that hysterical? Uggla asks. Of course he'd been married and shacked up with three children for some time - all that happened was it finally hit the newspapers.
Why is it hysterical? I ask him. The person who wrote that letter is your fan - he believed in you. HE ASSUMED YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH. You've shattered his dreams. How can that be hysterical?
Ah but he's just a STUPID FAN, says Uggla.
Stupid fan? Uggla goes on stage at every concert throughout his career and makes a big deal about being against marriage. It's part of his 'image'. It helps him SELL RECORDS.
But it's all bullshit. It's Katy Perry's acne cream and MP the HONOURABLE Peter Garrett's opposition to nuclear power and rabid support for the environment. It's a WAY TO MAKE MONEY.
Monday, 31 May 2010
River Runs Red
The ongoing BP disaster: besserwissers everywhere, some of who see through lies perpetrated by others. Kevin Costner leaving Home Shopping Network to peddle his own 'Set It And Forget It' oil spill cleaner. Tweeters like Christina Applegate and the ubiquitous Alyssa Milano condemning BP left and right.
Midnight Oil hit Exxon where it hurts when last this hit big scale. Peter Garrett held a press conference afterwards with Greenpeace, condemning Exxon. They made a DVD out of this at the time.
Midnight Oil hit Exxon where it hurts when last this hit big scale. Peter Garrett held a press conference afterwards with Greenpeace, condemning Exxon. They made a DVD out of this at the time.
Armistice Day
R Hirst, J Moginie, M Rotsey
You're watching people fighting
You're watching people losing
On Armistice Day
The watchers do the wincing
Reporters so convincing
The TV never lies
I went looking for a war
And the only guns I saw
Were never used in anger
The fixers do the fixing
The locals do the lynching
The papers deny
I went looking for a headline
Got taken to the back line
They'd never seen the action
You're watching people fighting
You're watching people losing
On Armistice Day
The watchers do the wincing
Reporters so convincing
The TV never lies
I went looking for a war
And the only guns I saw
Were never used in anger
The fixers do the fixing
The locals do the lynching
The papers deny
I went looking for a headline
Got taken to the back line
They'd never seen the action
Sunday, 30 May 2010
Winning Lyrics
Germany won Eurovision. Thank goodness the lyrics of Kristian Lagerström were nowhere near the final.
Herewith the lyrics of the winning entry. These to compare with the 'work' of Kristian Lagerström.
I went everywhere for you
I even did my hair for you
I bought new underwear they're blue
And I wore 'em just the other day
Love you know I'll fight for you
I left on the porch light for you
Whether you are sweet or cruel
I'm gonna love you either way
Love oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Like a satellite I'm in an orbit all the way around you
And I would fall out into the night
Can't go a minute without your love
Love I got it bad for you
I saved the best I have for you
You sometimes make me sad and blue
Wouldn't have it any other way
Love my aim is straight and true
Cupid's arrow is just for you
I even painted my toe nails for you
I did it just the other day
Love oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Like a satellite I'm in an orbit all the way around you
And I would fall out into the night
Can't go a minute without your love
Oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Where you go I'll follow
You set the pace we'll take it fast and slow
I'll follow in your way
You got me you got me
A force more powerful than gravity
It's physics there's no escape
Love my aim is straight and true
Cupid's arrow is just for you
I even painted my toe nails for you
I did it just the other day
Love oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Like a satellite I'm in orbit all the way around you
And I would fall out into the night
Can't go a minute without your
Love oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Love love love love love
Herewith the lyrics of the winning entry. These to compare with the 'work' of Kristian Lagerström.
I went everywhere for you
I even did my hair for you
I bought new underwear they're blue
And I wore 'em just the other day
Love you know I'll fight for you
I left on the porch light for you
Whether you are sweet or cruel
I'm gonna love you either way
Love oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Like a satellite I'm in an orbit all the way around you
And I would fall out into the night
Can't go a minute without your love
Love I got it bad for you
I saved the best I have for you
You sometimes make me sad and blue
Wouldn't have it any other way
Love my aim is straight and true
Cupid's arrow is just for you
I even painted my toe nails for you
I did it just the other day
Love oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Like a satellite I'm in an orbit all the way around you
And I would fall out into the night
Can't go a minute without your love
Oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Where you go I'll follow
You set the pace we'll take it fast and slow
I'll follow in your way
You got me you got me
A force more powerful than gravity
It's physics there's no escape
Love my aim is straight and true
Cupid's arrow is just for you
I even painted my toe nails for you
I did it just the other day
Love oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Like a satellite I'm in orbit all the way around you
And I would fall out into the night
Can't go a minute without your
Love oh love I gotta tell you how I feel about you
'Cause I oh I can't go a minute without your love
Love love love love love
Friday, 28 May 2010
This Should Have Been Sent, This Would Have Won
Now they're admitting they made a mistake. Now they're saying this should have been sent instead. Now...
And of course they're right. It's still trash but it's Eurovision-winning trash.
But no. The obvious choice was too difficult for them. At the time...
There's nothing quite like corruption and there's nothing quite as dumb as a swede...
Visit the girls at their site. Their first full length CD is already out and they're currently on tour.
http://www.timoteij.se/
And of course they're right. It's still trash but it's Eurovision-winning trash.
But no. The obvious choice was too difficult for them. At the time...
There's nothing quite like corruption and there's nothing quite as dumb as a swede...
Visit the girls at their site. Their first full length CD is already out and they're currently on tour.
http://www.timoteij.se/
Lick Yer Wounds, Sweden
As predicted here long ago, Sweden made a mess of Eurovision with the abominably abortive 'This Is My Life' by the less than talented Anna Bergendahl and with the perhaps worst song lyric ever written by the catastrophically self-deluded Kristian Lagerström. That Lagerström would be let loose on the song is total testimony to buddy-buddy business and perhaps nepotism (or a close relative).
The song is a total abomination, the lyrics the most embarrassing thing to hit popular music in a long long time.
One can criticise the airhead Bergendahl for not refusing the song, for standing on stage after stage with her repulsive voice and acting as if she's moved by the totally nonsense lyrics. One can criticise Lagerström for being such a total twit, one can criticise the publishing company for accepting those lyrics. But above all one must criticise the Swedish people and the Swedish Eurovision voting system for totally not getting it and for not letting the people themselves decide.
Swedes don't determine their winner - the fat cats sitting on the insulated seats in the state-owned Swedish television company still have a say. Word has it these useless people (who only serve to demonstrate how much taxpayer money can be wasted) count for 50% of the total vote. Once upon a time they were the only ones who could vote - and the opinions of the Swedish people didn't count for anything.
But that's not good enough. Eurovision will always be Eurovision - a blight on culture and a form of audio torture for all those who care for and/or create music themselves. But more: the Eurovision entry isn't fashioned as ordinary popular music. There are elements to a Eurovision entry that make (or at least should make) ordinary reasonable sensible people cringe under ordinary circumstances. And most often they do.
1. Slow quiet start, perhaps single piano or acoustic guitar.
2. Not so gradual buildup to full orchestral sound for the chorus.
3. Nothing sophisticated thank you very much - the same old 3-4 chards.
4. A key change for the coda - bump it up a full step or a half step.
The last point is one of the most inevitable (and feared) elements of the Eurovision entry. You know it's coming, you know it and you fear it, you can hope against hope it won't happen, but it will. In fact, about the only time it didn't happen was with ABBA's Waterloo. Because Björn and Benny write better and found a different way to add pizzazz to songs - a technique they continued to use throughout their long and successful careers.
Nobody likes Eurovision. It hurts. It's painful. But Sweden's musical talents are many and disparaging the country with the airhead Bergendahl is a national crime. Sweden's talents include Björn and Benny of course, and Per Gessle with Roxette, and the 'Max Martin' songwriters and producers who've worked with the likes of Bon Jovi, Britney Spears, Celine Dion - the entire gamut and always big names.
Swedes know their business. Then how could a full blown twat like Kristian Lagerström get involved? How could Anna Bergendahl? How could the worthless state employees cheer that on? How could the Swedish people go along with it?
These are questions people in Sweden will have to ask themselves as they lick their wounds. But don't expect any upheavals. The wrong people - the stupid people - always win and always get their way.
IceNews: Eurovision final: Denmark in, Sweden out
http://www.icenews.is/index.php/2010/05/27/eurovision-final-denmark-in-sweden-out/
The Foreigner: Eurovision 2010 News: No more 'Dancing Queen' for Sweden
http://theforeigner.no/pages/news/eurovision-2010-news-no-more-dancing-queen-for-sweden/
Stockholm News: Sweden not qualified for Eurovision final
http://www.stockholmnews.com/more.aspx?NID=5382
ESC Today: Sweden in shock at missing Eurovision, Media madness grips nation
http://www.esctoday.com/news/read/15868
The song is a total abomination, the lyrics the most embarrassing thing to hit popular music in a long long time.
One can criticise the airhead Bergendahl for not refusing the song, for standing on stage after stage with her repulsive voice and acting as if she's moved by the totally nonsense lyrics. One can criticise Lagerström for being such a total twit, one can criticise the publishing company for accepting those lyrics. But above all one must criticise the Swedish people and the Swedish Eurovision voting system for totally not getting it and for not letting the people themselves decide.
Swedes don't determine their winner - the fat cats sitting on the insulated seats in the state-owned Swedish television company still have a say. Word has it these useless people (who only serve to demonstrate how much taxpayer money can be wasted) count for 50% of the total vote. Once upon a time they were the only ones who could vote - and the opinions of the Swedish people didn't count for anything.
But that's not good enough. Eurovision will always be Eurovision - a blight on culture and a form of audio torture for all those who care for and/or create music themselves. But more: the Eurovision entry isn't fashioned as ordinary popular music. There are elements to a Eurovision entry that make (or at least should make) ordinary reasonable sensible people cringe under ordinary circumstances. And most often they do.
1. Slow quiet start, perhaps single piano or acoustic guitar.
2. Not so gradual buildup to full orchestral sound for the chorus.
3. Nothing sophisticated thank you very much - the same old 3-4 chards.
4. A key change for the coda - bump it up a full step or a half step.
The last point is one of the most inevitable (and feared) elements of the Eurovision entry. You know it's coming, you know it and you fear it, you can hope against hope it won't happen, but it will. In fact, about the only time it didn't happen was with ABBA's Waterloo. Because Björn and Benny write better and found a different way to add pizzazz to songs - a technique they continued to use throughout their long and successful careers.
Nobody likes Eurovision. It hurts. It's painful. But Sweden's musical talents are many and disparaging the country with the airhead Bergendahl is a national crime. Sweden's talents include Björn and Benny of course, and Per Gessle with Roxette, and the 'Max Martin' songwriters and producers who've worked with the likes of Bon Jovi, Britney Spears, Celine Dion - the entire gamut and always big names.
Swedes know their business. Then how could a full blown twat like Kristian Lagerström get involved? How could Anna Bergendahl? How could the worthless state employees cheer that on? How could the Swedish people go along with it?
These are questions people in Sweden will have to ask themselves as they lick their wounds. But don't expect any upheavals. The wrong people - the stupid people - always win and always get their way.
IceNews: Eurovision final: Denmark in, Sweden out
http://www.icenews.is/index.php/2010/05/27/eurovision-final-denmark-in-sweden-out/
The Foreigner: Eurovision 2010 News: No more 'Dancing Queen' for Sweden
http://theforeigner.no/pages/news/eurovision-2010-news-no-more-dancing-queen-for-sweden/
Stockholm News: Sweden not qualified for Eurovision final
http://www.stockholmnews.com/more.aspx?NID=5382
ESC Today: Sweden in shock at missing Eurovision, Media madness grips nation
http://www.esctoday.com/news/read/15868
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
A Conversation with Anna Bergendahl
I had a conversation with Sweden's Anna Bergendahl the other day. I got the impression she was reciting the lyrics to her abortive entry in the ESC but I can't be sure. The conversation went like this.
'I go down the beaten track'
You mean now? Or figuratively? What's the beaten track? Where is it? What does it symbolise?
'along the river with an empty bag'
What river? What's the connection with the beaten track? There's a beaten track along the river? Where is it? What the F does that symbolise?
'At the end she said to me:'
She? Who is 'she'? You haven't introduced her yet. Is she some bloody voice in your head? Who the fuck is 'she'? And you mean at the end of the beaten track along the river where you carried your empty bag? And for that matter: why is your bag empty? What would be in it if it was full? You do realise you're making no bloody sense at all, don't you?
'why are you here with the autumn leaves?'
You have autumn leaves? Where? In your bag? I thought you said your bag was empty! Or maybe it's the time of year? It's the autumn? All this transpires/transpired in the autumn? What significance does that have? What do the autumn leaves represent? This is really stupid, Anna - no one has a bloody clue what you're talking about.
'I'm done tipping on my toes'
You're done what? You've been walking on your tippy toes? Why? Or maybe it's just a symbol for something? Oh so maybe you mean you've been playing it too careful in your life? OK. A bit of sense. Finally. Maybe.
'strike an iron and attack my soul'
WHAT? Strike an iron? What is 'striking an iron', pray tell? That's bad enough but 'attack my soul' - what in the name of all that is sophomoric nonsense does 'attack my soul' mean? You're going to attack yourself? It's not even English, girl. It's bloody nonsense!
'Cause this is my life, my friend, and this is my time to stand'
Anything you say. Don't expect anyone to take you seriously is all.
'Cause this is my life, my friend, and I can't be no one else'
The expression is 'I can't be anyone else'. Only a retard would say 'no one else'. Even a retard song lyricist would never say it.
'I don't wanna run, I don't wanna fight, I don't wanna hide, I just wanna stay free, to be me'
You've got some serious issues, Anna Bergendahl! First you have to stop spouting such gibberish. Then you have to do something about your appearance. You look like an airhead.
Then you have to slip quietly out of Oslo under the cover of night. And then you have to sack that idiot lyricist.
'I go down the beaten track'
You mean now? Or figuratively? What's the beaten track? Where is it? What does it symbolise?
'along the river with an empty bag'
What river? What's the connection with the beaten track? There's a beaten track along the river? Where is it? What the F does that symbolise?
'At the end she said to me:'
She? Who is 'she'? You haven't introduced her yet. Is she some bloody voice in your head? Who the fuck is 'she'? And you mean at the end of the beaten track along the river where you carried your empty bag? And for that matter: why is your bag empty? What would be in it if it was full? You do realise you're making no bloody sense at all, don't you?
'why are you here with the autumn leaves?'
You have autumn leaves? Where? In your bag? I thought you said your bag was empty! Or maybe it's the time of year? It's the autumn? All this transpires/transpired in the autumn? What significance does that have? What do the autumn leaves represent? This is really stupid, Anna - no one has a bloody clue what you're talking about.
'I'm done tipping on my toes'
You're done what? You've been walking on your tippy toes? Why? Or maybe it's just a symbol for something? Oh so maybe you mean you've been playing it too careful in your life? OK. A bit of sense. Finally. Maybe.
'strike an iron and attack my soul'
WHAT? Strike an iron? What is 'striking an iron', pray tell? That's bad enough but 'attack my soul' - what in the name of all that is sophomoric nonsense does 'attack my soul' mean? You're going to attack yourself? It's not even English, girl. It's bloody nonsense!
'Cause this is my life, my friend, and this is my time to stand'
Anything you say. Don't expect anyone to take you seriously is all.
'Cause this is my life, my friend, and I can't be no one else'
The expression is 'I can't be anyone else'. Only a retard would say 'no one else'. Even a retard song lyricist would never say it.
'I don't wanna run, I don't wanna fight, I don't wanna hide, I just wanna stay free, to be me'
You've got some serious issues, Anna Bergendahl! First you have to stop spouting such gibberish. Then you have to do something about your appearance. You look like an airhead.
Then you have to slip quietly out of Oslo under the cover of night. And then you have to sack that idiot lyricist.
Friday, 14 May 2010
The Real Pirates, the Real Heroes
The brouhaha over good old Rupert Murdoch gives rise to looking a bit at Mr Wrinkle again and some of those who've opposed him over the years.
http://torrentfreak.com/fox-news-rupert-murdoch-all-pirates-100503/
Murdoch is Australian. Or was once upon a time. He was the emperor of Aussie media along with Alan Bond. He invented the media blackout to deal with his opponents: don't write bad things about them - just don't write anything at all.
Aussie rockers Midnight Oil were also hit by this tactic early on. Murdoch never liked them. When they released their 2nd album 'Head Injuries', his staff were instructed to not review the album, not write anything at all. Amazingly the album went gold several times over on word of mouth alone and remains the sole evidence in rock history worldwide that an album can succeed with no advertising whatsoever.
Midnight Oil later penned and recorded 'Read About It' in love of Rupert Murdoch. You can find the lyrics elsewhere; they're typically eloquent of Midnight Oil and basically say that no matter what's happening in the world at large, you won't hear about it if Rupert Murdoch doesn't want you to know.
Midnight Oil started as a surfer club group at the Hotel Adlon on the Sydney coast. They caused quite the sensation because they concentrated only on musical gymnastics, pulling off some of the most incredible acrobatics heard to this day.
No major label would sign them on their terms - retain rights to masters, full artistic control, and so forth - so they bundled together some cash and recorded and produced their first album themselves. It was a huge hit.
Midnight Oil then took the proceeds from their sales to start an artist management company for the Sydney coast and succeeded in signing up most big groups at the time. Their objective - which was met - was to force the venue owners to treat their guests better: more reasonable entry fees and nice bouncers. They effectively held the entire coastal entertainment business in an iron grip.
The ABS and other media - such as Rupert's - wanted contact with them back then but the group weren't interested in participating in silly 'pop' shows. They became the enemy of the media and of Rupert.
Their second album 'Head Injuries' really took off. It was at this point Herb Alpert became interested in them and sent two emissaries with a suitcase full of songs to meet them. The A&M reps were told to turn up at 2JJJ to find out where the group were playing. 2JJJ told them Midnight Oil were in fact playing at the MCG. The A&M reps asked if the group had left any free tickets. They had not.
The reps traveled to Melbourne and bought tickets to attend the concert. Back in Sydney they met the group who were recording with Glyn Johns. They were met politely. They asked if there had been a misunderstanding so their concert tickets weren't supplied in time. The group explained that free tickets were only for their friends.
The reps then opened their suitcase full of songs. 'You guys are going to be the sensation of the 1980s', they were told. But A&M didn't believe their material had a broad enough appeal, what with its Australian references and its all too complex musical structure. 'And so here we are with a suitcase full of covers we'd like you to look at', they ended.
The reply from the group was 'when's your flight back?' The A&M reps, offering a multimillion dollar contract with A&M, were perfunctorily turned away.
Midnight Oil went back to work in the studio and wrote and recorded a song about the incident called 'Don't Wanna Be The One'.
I'm an innocent victim, I'm just like you
We end up in home units with a brick wall view
I can't believe the perfect families on my colour TV
If I don't make it to the top it'll never bother me
I'm an innocent bystander caught in the path
Waiting out the back while the corporate attack
Assaults the senses with relentless scenes of passion and delight
I cut up all the options and went running for my life
And I don't wanna be the one
England joined the EU at long last, Australia lost their favoured trading status, and unemployment became rampant in the Lucky Country. Midnight Oil responded by organising a series of pan-Pacific concert telecasts and funneling all the proceeds to the labour unemployment compensation funds. At this point they were no longer controversial - they were heroes.
Rupert Murdoch? He got as big as he could in Australia and set his sights on the US. But the US has a rule about who can own media corporations: you have to be a US citizen. Murdoch traveled to Las Vegas, was given contacts with mobsters, and the mobsters pulled strings so Murdoch could pick up a US passport in a single fortnight.
Now the problems began back home because Australia had the same rule. But no worries! Rupert had the PM in his back pocket. So when the issue arose in Canberra, the PM simply killed it. Rupert was now the king of Aussie media but no longer able legally to retain his hold - yet he just did anyway. And his sojourn in the US didn't last long - he moved to the UK instead where he's been ever since.
http://torrentfreak.com/fox-news-rupert-murdoch-all-pirates-100503/
Murdoch is Australian. Or was once upon a time. He was the emperor of Aussie media along with Alan Bond. He invented the media blackout to deal with his opponents: don't write bad things about them - just don't write anything at all.
Aussie rockers Midnight Oil were also hit by this tactic early on. Murdoch never liked them. When they released their 2nd album 'Head Injuries', his staff were instructed to not review the album, not write anything at all. Amazingly the album went gold several times over on word of mouth alone and remains the sole evidence in rock history worldwide that an album can succeed with no advertising whatsoever.
Midnight Oil later penned and recorded 'Read About It' in love of Rupert Murdoch. You can find the lyrics elsewhere; they're typically eloquent of Midnight Oil and basically say that no matter what's happening in the world at large, you won't hear about it if Rupert Murdoch doesn't want you to know.
Midnight Oil started as a surfer club group at the Hotel Adlon on the Sydney coast. They caused quite the sensation because they concentrated only on musical gymnastics, pulling off some of the most incredible acrobatics heard to this day.
No major label would sign them on their terms - retain rights to masters, full artistic control, and so forth - so they bundled together some cash and recorded and produced their first album themselves. It was a huge hit.
Midnight Oil then took the proceeds from their sales to start an artist management company for the Sydney coast and succeeded in signing up most big groups at the time. Their objective - which was met - was to force the venue owners to treat their guests better: more reasonable entry fees and nice bouncers. They effectively held the entire coastal entertainment business in an iron grip.
The ABS and other media - such as Rupert's - wanted contact with them back then but the group weren't interested in participating in silly 'pop' shows. They became the enemy of the media and of Rupert.
Their second album 'Head Injuries' really took off. It was at this point Herb Alpert became interested in them and sent two emissaries with a suitcase full of songs to meet them. The A&M reps were told to turn up at 2JJJ to find out where the group were playing. 2JJJ told them Midnight Oil were in fact playing at the MCG. The A&M reps asked if the group had left any free tickets. They had not.
The reps traveled to Melbourne and bought tickets to attend the concert. Back in Sydney they met the group who were recording with Glyn Johns. They were met politely. They asked if there had been a misunderstanding so their concert tickets weren't supplied in time. The group explained that free tickets were only for their friends.
The reps then opened their suitcase full of songs. 'You guys are going to be the sensation of the 1980s', they were told. But A&M didn't believe their material had a broad enough appeal, what with its Australian references and its all too complex musical structure. 'And so here we are with a suitcase full of covers we'd like you to look at', they ended.
The reply from the group was 'when's your flight back?' The A&M reps, offering a multimillion dollar contract with A&M, were perfunctorily turned away.
Midnight Oil went back to work in the studio and wrote and recorded a song about the incident called 'Don't Wanna Be The One'.
I'm an innocent victim, I'm just like you
We end up in home units with a brick wall view
I can't believe the perfect families on my colour TV
If I don't make it to the top it'll never bother me
I'm an innocent bystander caught in the path
Waiting out the back while the corporate attack
Assaults the senses with relentless scenes of passion and delight
I cut up all the options and went running for my life
And I don't wanna be the one
England joined the EU at long last, Australia lost their favoured trading status, and unemployment became rampant in the Lucky Country. Midnight Oil responded by organising a series of pan-Pacific concert telecasts and funneling all the proceeds to the labour unemployment compensation funds. At this point they were no longer controversial - they were heroes.
Rupert Murdoch? He got as big as he could in Australia and set his sights on the US. But the US has a rule about who can own media corporations: you have to be a US citizen. Murdoch traveled to Las Vegas, was given contacts with mobsters, and the mobsters pulled strings so Murdoch could pick up a US passport in a single fortnight.
Now the problems began back home because Australia had the same rule. But no worries! Rupert had the PM in his back pocket. So when the issue arose in Canberra, the PM simply killed it. Rupert was now the king of Aussie media but no longer able legally to retain his hold - yet he just did anyway. And his sojourn in the US didn't last long - he moved to the UK instead where he's been ever since.
Saturday, 1 May 2010
The End of the Law
Magnificent episode of Kavanagh QC today. First episode of season 6. Extraordinary. And this was for television.
Sunday, 14 March 2010
Sweden's New Waterloo
Sweden sent a funny song to the Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) in Brighton in 1974. The song was about falling in love the same way Napoleon fell at Waterloo.
The simile was strained but the lyrics written by Björn Ulvaeus were otherwise good. Most of what Ulvaeus wrote over the years was excellent. He and Benny Andersson went on to work with Tim Rice on the West End musical Chess. They've since had their runaway success Mamma Mia! turned into a movie with Meryl Streep. No one's ever doubted the abilities of Sweden's ABBA to craft clever, intelligent, and often emotionally deep lyrics even though none of them have English as a mother tongue.
The ESC rules changed after 1974. No more singing in English. Singing in English automatically favoured some countries over others.
The rules changed again recently and now contestants can sing in any language they choose.
ABBA used the ESC as a springboard for their career. They never took the contest seriously. But they knew it would give them a lot of publicity. They were never from the same mould as the traditional contestants.
1974 was Sweden's first victory in the ESC. They've won three further times since then. And each of those victories has been eminently forgettable if not embarrassing. ESC music is the lowest of the low. Things don't get much worse than the ESC.
Sweden's been bombing out of the ESC for several years now. This is the country that gave the world ABBA, Roxette, Max Martin, the Cardigans, The Hives, and more. A Swedish journalist described Sweden's dilemma as a country bumpkin coming to a world event where the rules have changed. The whole selection process is flawed and Swedes prove time and again they don't really have a clue.
ABBA lost their first time around too. They lost to a weird duo who sang a song with a gimmick line about a woman's breasts. The astute Swedish juries - ordinary but overly paid apparatchiks with the state television company - chose this stupid song over the competition. No one cares about that song. Everyone remembers ABBA.
There are some good lyricists in Sweden. Max Martin cowrote 'It's My Life' for Bon Jovi. Nina Persson's lyrics for the Cardigans have been cute if not always excellent. There are no great English lyrics coming from Swedes but some of them are OK.
But in the ESC? Most of the contestants can hardly pronounce it, much less understand it, and their lyricists are downright dumb. The lyrics to Elena Paparizou's 2005 winning song were written by Christos Dadis and Natalia Germanou.
Last year's lyrics were even worse. The lyrics to the winning song are so cringeworthy they won't be printed here. Look them up yourself if you dare - but think twice about it.
Sweden's current predicament with the ESC is twofold. They don't understand what works and what doesn't and what's needed to win these days. But they've consequently performed so poorly of late that they don't even qualify for the final unless they can really impress everyone in the qualification rounds the week before the show. One needs something extra special to make that jump back into the top 24. And a further clue: ballads never give the necessary boost. As one Swedish journalist put it last night: 'this succession of boring banal ballads is threatening to put the studio and television audiences in a permanent coma'.
But what do Swedes like?
Swedes had a potential winner in a girl group called 'Timoteij'. 'Timoteij' is an herb called 'timothy' in English. It's also the name of a popular shampoo in Sweden. Its distinctive bottle was used as a prop in the movie Gorky Park. It's a cute name. Perhaps not particularly international but still the same.
The girls are all young students in a special music/entertainment school in Sweden. In a screamingly boring place called Skara. They're 18 years old and have been performing together for the past two years. They're already signed to Universal and their first full length CD is already completed and will be released in April. They too like ABBA are using the ESC as a springboard. They too lost to someone really really bad first time out.
The winning song this year is - ironically - 'This is My Life'. It's reminiscent not only of the Bon Jovi hit but also of the cringeworthy 2009 entry written by no better than Dame Andy Webber and Diane Warren with the unfortunately unforgettable:
These are the lyrics to the Swedish entry in the ESC 2010, written by who must be the most self-delusional waste of space lyricist ever: Kristian Lagerström. Read them and weep.
The simile was strained but the lyrics written by Björn Ulvaeus were otherwise good. Most of what Ulvaeus wrote over the years was excellent. He and Benny Andersson went on to work with Tim Rice on the West End musical Chess. They've since had their runaway success Mamma Mia! turned into a movie with Meryl Streep. No one's ever doubted the abilities of Sweden's ABBA to craft clever, intelligent, and often emotionally deep lyrics even though none of them have English as a mother tongue.
The ESC rules changed after 1974. No more singing in English. Singing in English automatically favoured some countries over others.
The rules changed again recently and now contestants can sing in any language they choose.
ABBA used the ESC as a springboard for their career. They never took the contest seriously. But they knew it would give them a lot of publicity. They were never from the same mould as the traditional contestants.
1974 was Sweden's first victory in the ESC. They've won three further times since then. And each of those victories has been eminently forgettable if not embarrassing. ESC music is the lowest of the low. Things don't get much worse than the ESC.
Sweden's been bombing out of the ESC for several years now. This is the country that gave the world ABBA, Roxette, Max Martin, the Cardigans, The Hives, and more. A Swedish journalist described Sweden's dilemma as a country bumpkin coming to a world event where the rules have changed. The whole selection process is flawed and Swedes prove time and again they don't really have a clue.
ABBA lost their first time around too. They lost to a weird duo who sang a song with a gimmick line about a woman's breasts. The astute Swedish juries - ordinary but overly paid apparatchiks with the state television company - chose this stupid song over the competition. No one cares about that song. Everyone remembers ABBA.
There are some good lyricists in Sweden. Max Martin cowrote 'It's My Life' for Bon Jovi. Nina Persson's lyrics for the Cardigans have been cute if not always excellent. There are no great English lyrics coming from Swedes but some of them are OK.
But in the ESC? Most of the contestants can hardly pronounce it, much less understand it, and their lyricists are downright dumb. The lyrics to Elena Paparizou's 2005 winning song were written by Christos Dadis and Natalia Germanou.
You're delicious, so capriciousThings don't get more embarrassing than that. But Paparizou won. That's important to keep in mind. But she won not by having the best number but by her record company and the Greek government investing one million euros in promoting her song in the months leading up to the ESC final. Paparizou was shuttled all over the place. Several publicity events of whatever type they could arrange for weeks and weeks on end. The voting occurred way before the actual televised final.
If I find out you don't want me I'll be vicious
Last year's lyrics were even worse. The lyrics to the winning song are so cringeworthy they won't be printed here. Look them up yourself if you dare - but think twice about it.
Sweden's current predicament with the ESC is twofold. They don't understand what works and what doesn't and what's needed to win these days. But they've consequently performed so poorly of late that they don't even qualify for the final unless they can really impress everyone in the qualification rounds the week before the show. One needs something extra special to make that jump back into the top 24. And a further clue: ballads never give the necessary boost. As one Swedish journalist put it last night: 'this succession of boring banal ballads is threatening to put the studio and television audiences in a permanent coma'.
But what do Swedes like?
Swedes had a potential winner in a girl group called 'Timoteij'. 'Timoteij' is an herb called 'timothy' in English. It's also the name of a popular shampoo in Sweden. Its distinctive bottle was used as a prop in the movie Gorky Park. It's a cute name. Perhaps not particularly international but still the same.
The girls are all young students in a special music/entertainment school in Sweden. In a screamingly boring place called Skara. They're 18 years old and have been performing together for the past two years. They're already signed to Universal and their first full length CD is already completed and will be released in April. They too like ABBA are using the ESC as a springboard. They too lost to someone really really bad first time out.
The winning song this year is - ironically - 'This is My Life'. It's reminiscent not only of the Bon Jovi hit but also of the cringeworthy 2009 entry written by no better than Dame Andy Webber and Diane Warren with the unfortunately unforgettable:
It's my life, it's my life, my momentWatching the eminently talented but eminently misunderstood Jade Ewen wince her way through those two lines every time was a torture no Brit wants to remember. But maybe they've now found something that overshadows their own gaffe last year.
I'm not going to let go of it
These are the lyrics to the Swedish entry in the ESC 2010, written by who must be the most self-delusional waste of space lyricist ever: Kristian Lagerström. Read them and weep.
I go down the beaten track, along the river with an empty bag
At the end she said to me: why are you here with the autumn leaves?
Cause this is my life, my friend, and this is my time to stand
Cause this is my life, my friend, and I can't be no one else
I'm done tipping on my toes, strike an iron and attack my soul
Misty moon, you're gonna see, I've got your blues to get on my feet
Cause this is my life, my friend, and this is my time to stand
Cause this is my life, my friend, and I can't be no one else
I don't wanna run, I don't wanna fight
I don't wanna hide, I just wanna stay free, to be me
I don't wanna win, I don't wanna lose
I don't wanna play, I just wanna remember, oh my name
Cause this is my life, my friend, and this is my time to stand
Oh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
(Cause this is my life, my friend, and this is my time to stand)
Cause this is my life, my friend, and I can't be no one else
Cause this is my life, my friend, and I can't be no one else
Cause this is my life, my friend
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Cheesy Cleese
John Cleese who never stops coming up with great new inventive ideas has now arranged a 15-stop tour of Scandinavia where he will - get this - be alone on stage and talk about his fantastic career for two hours.
He will also have clips of some of his famous films and television shows which will be shown on a big screen. The same clips most people have bought several times over on VHS and DVD and have instant access to on YouTube.
Tickets start at over $100 and Cleese is predicted to make over $100,000 per gig.
People really liked Fawlty Towers - what there was of it. Twelve episodes made over a six year period. Contrast that with Friends that ran in realtime for ten years with 238 (count 'em) episodes all filmed before a live audience after a full week's rehearsals. 238 times.
People liked Wanda too. But it was just another film.
People generally don't like most of the other crap Cleese has come out with. And most importantly: Cleese only did Fawlty Towers in the 1970s and Wanda a few years later. That's it. That's really all.
Ever since then Cleese has been granting interviews where he tells people how amazed he is at his own talent.
Cleese had a cowriter (and for a while there a wife) on Fawlty Towers. But she's not seen anywhere, nor is she ever interviewed on one of these nauseatingly endless recycled editions of Cleese's Greatest Hits.
It's time to put Cleese in the rain barrel where he belongs. It's time to boycott his delusional tour of Scandinavia. It's time to tell him to his face: 'John, you were never that funny or talented but your wife was and the few times you were really funny are so few and so long ago SO WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND GO AWAY?'
He will also have clips of some of his famous films and television shows which will be shown on a big screen. The same clips most people have bought several times over on VHS and DVD and have instant access to on YouTube.
Tickets start at over $100 and Cleese is predicted to make over $100,000 per gig.
People really liked Fawlty Towers - what there was of it. Twelve episodes made over a six year period. Contrast that with Friends that ran in realtime for ten years with 238 (count 'em) episodes all filmed before a live audience after a full week's rehearsals. 238 times.
People liked Wanda too. But it was just another film.
People generally don't like most of the other crap Cleese has come out with. And most importantly: Cleese only did Fawlty Towers in the 1970s and Wanda a few years later. That's it. That's really all.
Ever since then Cleese has been granting interviews where he tells people how amazed he is at his own talent.
Cleese had a cowriter (and for a while there a wife) on Fawlty Towers. But she's not seen anywhere, nor is she ever interviewed on one of these nauseatingly endless recycled editions of Cleese's Greatest Hits.
It's time to put Cleese in the rain barrel where he belongs. It's time to boycott his delusional tour of Scandinavia. It's time to tell him to his face: 'John, you were never that funny or talented but your wife was and the few times you were really funny are so few and so long ago SO WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND GO AWAY?'
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
It's Tough to be a Chicken
Today is Denny's 'Grand Slam' day in the US. This follows on Super Bowls: from 06:00 to 14:00 they offer free breakfasts around the country. The breakfasts are two eggs, two rashers of bacon, two sausages, and two pancakes. It's free.
Sounds like a bit of charity. Which is timely considering in the US there's really no social system (or any ambition for such a system) to take care of the unfortunate. If there's one thing they're still #1 at, it's homeless people. And do they ever excel at that!
Now check this link out.
http://dennys.com/superbowl/splash2.html
Yeah it's tough to be a chicken alright. It's also pretty tough to be anyone in the Americas if you're not in the US. 910,000,000 people and only 307,000,000 million of them are entitled to call themselves 'American'.
It's chickens, it's turkeys, it's Nicaraguans, it's Chileans, it's Argentinians, it's Ecuadorians, it's Guatemalans, it's Cubans, it's Bolivians, it's Peruvians - the list goes on and on.
They stage coups. They murder elected leaders. Heck - they murder period. They assassinate Salvador Allende and then push in a dictator to replace him, they stand behind persecutions and imprisonments and torture and more and more murders. That's OK. We're AMERICAN!
And we like our chickens and we like our turkeys and WE LIKE OUR OIL! And we like our BANANAS! And we'd really like some good Cuban cigars goddammit but we have to support freedom around the globe right now. We're famous for that, right?
Right.
Then there's @stevez33 (Steve Zebrowski) formerly of Connecticut and now of Florida who is really incensed that the homeless are queueing outside Denny's for a good free meal for the first time in who knows how long. And he asks how they can even know when they don't have houses to live in and probably can't have televisions either?
Then someone suggests they might have found out on Twitter and @stevez33 goes ballistic. They have computers too now? Ugg!
Let's hope he's joking. Let's close our eyes and hope Denny's were also joking. And that the imperialism was also a joke. That rendition was a joke. That all the millions of deaths and ruined lives these people have caused - that it was all just a joke. So we can open our eyes and nobody's ever heard of that gross place called the US.
Sounds like a bit of charity. Which is timely considering in the US there's really no social system (or any ambition for such a system) to take care of the unfortunate. If there's one thing they're still #1 at, it's homeless people. And do they ever excel at that!
Now check this link out.
http://dennys.com/superbowl/splash2.html
Yeah it's tough to be a chicken alright. It's also pretty tough to be anyone in the Americas if you're not in the US. 910,000,000 people and only 307,000,000 million of them are entitled to call themselves 'American'.
It's chickens, it's turkeys, it's Nicaraguans, it's Chileans, it's Argentinians, it's Ecuadorians, it's Guatemalans, it's Cubans, it's Bolivians, it's Peruvians - the list goes on and on.
They stage coups. They murder elected leaders. Heck - they murder period. They assassinate Salvador Allende and then push in a dictator to replace him, they stand behind persecutions and imprisonments and torture and more and more murders. That's OK. We're AMERICAN!
And we like our chickens and we like our turkeys and WE LIKE OUR OIL! And we like our BANANAS! And we'd really like some good Cuban cigars goddammit but we have to support freedom around the globe right now. We're famous for that, right?
Right.
Then there's @stevez33 (Steve Zebrowski) formerly of Connecticut and now of Florida who is really incensed that the homeless are queueing outside Denny's for a good free meal for the first time in who knows how long. And he asks how they can even know when they don't have houses to live in and probably can't have televisions either?
Then someone suggests they might have found out on Twitter and @stevez33 goes ballistic. They have computers too now? Ugg!
Let's hope he's joking. Let's close our eyes and hope Denny's were also joking. And that the imperialism was also a joke. That rendition was a joke. That all the millions of deaths and ruined lives these people have caused - that it was all just a joke. So we can open our eyes and nobody's ever heard of that gross place called the US.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
Nikitas
UK satellite channel CBS Action started recently. And they're showing the television series La Femme Nikita. To fans of either the original or the US Badhman remake, this might be a bit much.
It's very high tech and actually plays like a soap opera rather than a drama.
The Besson original established the story; the US Badham remake faithfully reenacted the story and added a bit of pizzazz to it.
The story is what it's all about. Those who prefer the Besson original are firmly entrenched in their camp. Those who've seen the Besson original first are more likely to prefer it. Those who by chance encounter saw the US Badham version first are likely to prefer it.
Besson wrote the story. He gets credit for coming up with the stark plot. But John Badham who was tasked with directing the remake took the original to new heights.
All through his version you can see how a bit of reflection improved the original. The scenes are more precise, the music is infinitely superior, and there's an accent on acting not found in the original. Badham's motto has always been 'character, character, character' and it shows here. Moreau was excellent in the original but Bancroft literally jumps out at you in the remake. Parillaud was screechy in the original (and probably got the part because she was Besson's squeeze at the time) but Fonda is punky and sexy and imbues her role with the kind of stuff they taught her at the Lee Strasberg school.
There are scenes in the remake that are absolutely amazing. That when you look at them and freeze-frame them show you what filmmaking is really all about. Watch for the restaurant scene in the beginning where Fonda's character jumps off a stair handrail with one hand for leverage, lands firmly on a dinner table on the level below, then jumps again to the floor all the while she turns around to check on her pursuers. Besson had no balcony and his followup on the scene, whilst dramatic and a good shot, was easily implemented.
There are some really dumb things in the original too. Besson could have done with a proofread and a rewrite. The waiter bringing the bottle of champagne says for no reason: 'Taittinger - the king of champagnes'. Why would he do that? Was Besson getting paid for product placement? It just looks and sounds stupid.
The kitchen chase is also very abrupt and lacks the 'dripping off the walls' tension and pathos of the remake's version. And so forth.
Besson seems to have learned his lesson after Badham remade his classic: he took his crew to New York City for half a year, scouted for good locations for six months, and then brought in Jean Reno and Natalie Portman for the iconic Leon. He even wrote the story to fit around Reno who doesn't speak English too well. It was brilliant. And in this movie the music of Eric Serra actually works. Sort of.
But in Nikita? It's all a pale washout actually. Purists who believe the original is better because 1) it's the original; and 2) it's FRENCH will never get it. Hans Zimmer wrote one of his most memorable scores; the plot is taught and never lets up; Fonda and all the rest are spot on throughout; and some hundred minutes later you realise you witnessed perfectionist movie making.
And it's all about 'character, character, character'. It's not enough to tell actors 'sit here, do this, say that' - you have to get into the characters yourself as a director. You have to make the actors feel secure enough so they don't mind if they fail; you have to discuss their characters with them and get them to bring it all out. For all the action of Badham's Point of No Return, it's actually a movie about character- much more three dimensional than Besson's original.
But of course Besson wrote the story.
And as for the television series currently transmitted on CBS Action? Try Gone with the Wind. It's a soap opera too but it almost has a point.
It's very high tech and actually plays like a soap opera rather than a drama.
The Besson original established the story; the US Badham remake faithfully reenacted the story and added a bit of pizzazz to it.
The story is what it's all about. Those who prefer the Besson original are firmly entrenched in their camp. Those who've seen the Besson original first are more likely to prefer it. Those who by chance encounter saw the US Badham version first are likely to prefer it.
Besson wrote the story. He gets credit for coming up with the stark plot. But John Badham who was tasked with directing the remake took the original to new heights.
All through his version you can see how a bit of reflection improved the original. The scenes are more precise, the music is infinitely superior, and there's an accent on acting not found in the original. Badham's motto has always been 'character, character, character' and it shows here. Moreau was excellent in the original but Bancroft literally jumps out at you in the remake. Parillaud was screechy in the original (and probably got the part because she was Besson's squeeze at the time) but Fonda is punky and sexy and imbues her role with the kind of stuff they taught her at the Lee Strasberg school.
There are scenes in the remake that are absolutely amazing. That when you look at them and freeze-frame them show you what filmmaking is really all about. Watch for the restaurant scene in the beginning where Fonda's character jumps off a stair handrail with one hand for leverage, lands firmly on a dinner table on the level below, then jumps again to the floor all the while she turns around to check on her pursuers. Besson had no balcony and his followup on the scene, whilst dramatic and a good shot, was easily implemented.
There are some really dumb things in the original too. Besson could have done with a proofread and a rewrite. The waiter bringing the bottle of champagne says for no reason: 'Taittinger - the king of champagnes'. Why would he do that? Was Besson getting paid for product placement? It just looks and sounds stupid.
The kitchen chase is also very abrupt and lacks the 'dripping off the walls' tension and pathos of the remake's version. And so forth.
Besson seems to have learned his lesson after Badham remade his classic: he took his crew to New York City for half a year, scouted for good locations for six months, and then brought in Jean Reno and Natalie Portman for the iconic Leon. He even wrote the story to fit around Reno who doesn't speak English too well. It was brilliant. And in this movie the music of Eric Serra actually works. Sort of.
But in Nikita? It's all a pale washout actually. Purists who believe the original is better because 1) it's the original; and 2) it's FRENCH will never get it. Hans Zimmer wrote one of his most memorable scores; the plot is taught and never lets up; Fonda and all the rest are spot on throughout; and some hundred minutes later you realise you witnessed perfectionist movie making.
And it's all about 'character, character, character'. It's not enough to tell actors 'sit here, do this, say that' - you have to get into the characters yourself as a director. You have to make the actors feel secure enough so they don't mind if they fail; you have to discuss their characters with them and get them to bring it all out. For all the action of Badham's Point of No Return, it's actually a movie about character- much more three dimensional than Besson's original.
But of course Besson wrote the story.
And as for the television series currently transmitted on CBS Action? Try Gone with the Wind. It's a soap opera too but it almost has a point.
Monday, 18 January 2010
The Google Hop, The Microsoft Sidestep
What's wrong with our world when leading computer security experts cannot say publicly how much they detest Microsoft products but only reveal their true feelings when communicating in private?
Haiti
There are some people on Twitter who are concerned with Haiti. Like Alyssa Milano. She mobilises people like mad. Then there are people who post things like I just got back from the hairdresser, I had a wonderful time.
There's been a terrible catastrophe on Haiti, you dipshits. How the fuck can you think people are interested in or have time for reading about your stupid fucking two hours at the hairdresser?
It really gets good people how so many arseholes are impervious to what's going on around them. As if they don't care at all.
These people need to be removed from the gene pool.
There's been a terrible catastrophe on Haiti, you dipshits. How the fuck can you think people are interested in or have time for reading about your stupid fucking two hours at the hairdresser?
It really gets good people how so many arseholes are impervious to what's going on around them. As if they don't care at all.
These people need to be removed from the gene pool.
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