A Conversation with Anna Bergendahl

I had a conversation with Sweden's Anna Bergendahl the other day. I got the impression she was reciting the lyrics to her abortive entry in the ESC but I can't be sure. The conversation went like this.

'I go down the beaten track'
You mean now? Or figuratively? What's the beaten track? Where is it? What does it symbolise?

'along the river with an empty bag'
What river? What's the connection with the beaten track? There's a beaten track along the river? Where is it? What the F does that symbolise?

'At the end she said to me:'
She? Who is 'she'? You haven't introduced her yet. Is she some bloody voice in your head? Who the fuck is 'she'? And you mean at the end of the beaten track along the river where you carried your empty bag? And for that matter: why is your bag empty? What would be in it if it was full? You do realise you're making no bloody sense at all, don't you?

'why are you here with the autumn leaves?'
You have autumn leaves? Where? In your bag? I thought you said your bag was empty! Or maybe it's the time of year? It's the autumn? All this transpires/transpired in the autumn? What significance does that have? What do the autumn leaves represent? This is really stupid, Anna - no one has a bloody clue what you're talking about.

'I'm done tipping on my toes'
You're done what? You've been walking on your tippy toes? Why? Or maybe it's just a symbol for something? Oh so maybe you mean you've been playing it too careful in your life? OK. A bit of sense. Finally. Maybe.

'strike an iron and attack my soul'
WHAT? Strike an iron? What is 'striking an iron', pray tell? That's bad enough but 'attack my soul' - what in the name of all that is sophomoric nonsense does 'attack my soul' mean? You're going to attack yourself? It's not even English, girl. It's bloody nonsense!

'Cause this is my life, my friend, and this is my time to stand'
Anything you say. Don't expect anyone to take you seriously is all.

'Cause this is my life, my friend, and I can't be no one else'
The expression is 'I can't be anyone else'. Only a retard would say 'no one else'. Even a retard song lyricist would never say it.

'I don't wanna run, I don't wanna fight, I don't wanna hide, I just wanna stay free, to be me'
You've got some serious issues, Anna Bergendahl! First you have to stop spouting such gibberish. Then you have to do something about your appearance. You look like an airhead.

Then you have to slip quietly out of Oslo under the cover of night. And then you have to sack that idiot lyricist.